Battle Hymn of the Ranch Hands

My eyes have seen the Ranch Hands as they start a spray to pass.      
Dropping to low altitude as .50s come through the grass;
They've got one hand on the throttle and the other on a bottle
Of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer!

Glory. glory. what a hell of a way to spray.
Glory. glory. what a hell of a way to spray.
Glory. glory. what a hell of a way to spray.
And hope to do it again another day!

- In Vietnam "ranch hands" were the crews of the planes spreading defoliants such as Agent Orange.


Battle Hymn of the 85-mm Gunner

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the corning of the force.
And Uncle Ho has yelled and cussed and screamed till he is hoarse.
"Go out and man your guns. my boys. you have a job to do."
The Thuds are corning in!

CHORUS (repeat after each verse):
Gory. gory. what a helluva way to die.
Gory. gory. what a helluva way to die.
Gory. gory. what a helluva way to die.
I don't want to fight no more!

Now as the Thuds are getting close. beside my gun I stand;
We all should feel quite proud to stand in defense of this land;
But getting my ass blown to bits is not what I call grand;
The Thuds are coming in!

There's 750s all around. the sky is full of shit.
And smoke and dust and arms and legs. don't like it one damn bit;
If they miss me, this last time I think that I shall quit;
The Thuds are coming in!

We got hit and now are down below in Commie hell;
Each day they scare us pissless in a way we know so well;
Our Commie Satan he stands up, you hear that bastard yell
The Thuds are coming in!

This is written from the pint of view of North Vietnamese artillery gunner

Both songs from: "Singing The Vietnam Blues" by Joseph F. Tuso (Texas A&M University Press, 1990)