I `ad that Father Christmas in my cab the other day. I picked `im up late coming out of `arrod`s. `e looked well put out, as if one of the children `e was giving presents to `ad yanked on `is beard and pee`ed in `is lap.
I said , "What`s up Santa. Old el Fayed sold your grotto or something? I `ope its nothing to do with them nippers on your lap?"
`e said , "Certainly not Jim, nothing like that. There`s me trying to keep the tradition of Christmas alive and all I get is aggravation."
I said, "I dunno. We seem to be doing alright. Bit of snow, tinsel `ere and there, chicken dinner, Carols and the Mumming plays."
`e said , "I know all that but `ealth and Safety now want a risk assessment of me and going down the chimneys. They says I gotta lose weight!!"   

Whaddam I Like??
`APPY CHRISTMAS AND LUVERLY NEW YEAR TO ONE AND ALL!