Being Vulgar by Spider Tom

My mother taught me proper,
I never slurp my soup,
And I've never wiped
My nose upon my sleeve,
But, I think,
I just said "farted"
Instead of "broken wind",
I hope that no one,
Took offence, to leave.

Chorus:
Being vulgar, being vulgar,
You might never learn good manners,
Wandering 'round the mulga,
But, you learn to be, highly skilled at,
Being vulgar.

I'm a true and proper gentleman,
Mostly, all the time,
I even lower loo lids,
As I'm leaving.
I cock my little finger,
When I'm drinking my high-tea,
Though they tell me,
Appearance is deceiving.

Chorus

I have learnt,
The social niceties,
That make a man acceptable,
I know that on occasion,
My writings are objectionable,
And I'm sorry,
If I caused you any pain.
You're lucky you're not,
Living in my brain.

Chorus