In my experience when folk come across something, new, novel, different or something they do not understand, they tend to do one of the following:

a) try to get to understand it better or find an explanation (the typical questioning mind who yearns for more knowledge)

or

b) make fun at it
c) denigrate or disparage it
d) hate it or try and harm it.

There are no names I can be called that I have not called myself at some point during my transition. Indeed I still do at times when I am less than pleased with how I look no matter how hard I have tried to just fit in.

Name calling from others often brings with it an amusement over their implied lack of intelligence. They will call you things and say things like they are being so original: like you have never had it said to you at least 100 times before. They will even pat themselves on the back for their ingenuity in being the first one ever to have insulted you that way. They are usually quite smug and, if the insult stops there and does not progress to worse abuse or even threat, one counts oneself lucky to be able to get away from such potential harm.

Coming across someone who has used humour in the arena, who has then gone on to think about it and update their ideas, and then apologise, is quite rare. It is also most welcome and refreshing. If only others could not be the same.

Self depracation is a way of life to me because it often breaks down attacks before they can begin. Truth is I believe half of what is said to me in insults as I often feel that way about myself in any case. That is why I need to merge and fade into the background and, yet, up I will get in a room full of people and sing a song I think they may enjoy. Hiding is quite contrary to engaging the world.

Do you think I may not be built quite right? lol

If that apology was in any way sent toward me it is completely accepted and appreciated. believe me, what you said was nothing close to what is often thrown out and intimiated.

Thank you

anon