What a good idea to try another instrument...I've found that each instrument I learn is less difficult than the one before, and sheds light on them too.

My 2 cents on your quandary: When people learn to sing as children it's usually alongside the rest of life's learning, as with lullabys (what is bed time, how to relax for sleep), or skipping songs (counting, co-ordination etc), with the radio in the garage while watching dad change the oil (about tools, why cars have oil)...all these are no-pressure situations.
   Kids just sing. There isn't much question of "good" or "in tune" or "what key" and no one really cares about the so-called mistakes one might make as a kid. Above all, the learner doesn't care and probably isn't expected to achieve.

But as an adult, that fairly simple equation is muddied with self-awareness, fears of inadequacy, negative self-talk acquired as we mature, maybe also perfectionism or ambition, deadlines, expectations.

Relax, don't worry about it. Sing every chance you get. Play with your voice; try to copy every sound you hear. Not to "succeed" but to learn about all the things your voice can do. Sing with other people every chance you get. Record yourself and listen, do it so much that your recorded voice doesn't sound strange to you any more. Try other instruments. Sing along with them, fool around, experiment. Listen to young children playing alone...copy the sounds their voices make.

I have little doubt you can sing. Maybe after 2 years of lessons (you didn't say how much you practise) your ear-voice co-ordination is starting to emerge. Think of a child who has learned to talk by age 2 who then starts learning to sing, how might they sing by age 4? Then by age 12?

Yes, adults have the potential to make faster progress because of more developed muscles and sophisticated learning skills. But for you it sounds like left-brain approaches can get in the way, as can self judgement.

All that blather of mine is to say: Forget about looking for a destination--there isn't one. Learning to sing better will always be a journey. I'm constantly learning new things about singing and about my voice even though I've been singing (not professionally) for more than 50 years.

I'm curious so maybe you'll tell us, S.T.M., is the input/advice here at Mudcat any different so far than you've received elsewhere? You'd already asked everyone you know yet wanted to keep asking, so I wonder if you've asked the wrong question, or simply didn't like the answers.

~CH.