My dad always used to sing:

Oh, there was an old bum and he had a wooden leg,
And he never had tobacco so he always had to beg,
There's another old bum as sly as a fox,
he always had tobacco in his old tobacco box
Said the first old bum won't you let me have a chew?
Said the second old bum I'll be damnded if you do!
Save up your money, and put it in your socks,
and you'll always have tobacco in your old tobacco box.

Well I went to Cincinnati and I walked around the block
I walked right in to a baker's shop
I puled me a doughnut from the hot boiling grease
and I give the lady a five cent piece.
She looked at the nickel, she looked at me,
she said "kind sir, can't you see?"
"There's a hole in the middle and it goes clear through!"
Says I "there's a hole in your doughnut too!"

Well, I had a little hen, and she had a wooden leg
Best durn hen that ever laid an egg,
Laid more eggs than any hens around the farm,
'nother little drink'll never do us any harm!