The lyrics - typed as I listened ... hope they help Strangeways Hotel - Mike Harding Takes some working, this bugger, I'll tell you that for nowt… Last Saturday night I got into a fight I woke up on Wednesday in an heck of a fright 'Cos the judge said 'Young feller, you're going for a spell Six months hard labour in the Strangeways Hotel' Chorus Too-ra-loo, eh-up I can tell Ooh la ooh la There's no place on earth like the Strangeways Hotel It's porridge each morning, it's strong and it's thick It clogs up the drains and puts big lumps on your... elbows How do they make more up when one lot's all spent They mix two loads of sand up with one of cement Chorus It's fish every Friday it's fish two foot wide Covers up your plate and hangs over the side You can tell that it's Friday just by the smell Coz the fish have all done time in the Strangeways Hotel Chorus So we were in the cell talkin' and there's two lads And one says "What you in for Ron?" He said "Robbing a wagon. What you in for Cedric?" He said "Wagging me Robin" (laughs) "Well I only tried it once and soon as me opened me raincoat, She sez "No thanks, I'll smoke me own" (laughs) Well there were a lad in there, a real hard case In there for budgie rustling They'd caught him outside Belle Views with a branding iron and a packet of seed He'd got eleven years he had And there was another bloke in there He was in for chuckin' his wife off Blackpool Tower 'Cos the Judge said it was Bank Holiday Monday He might have hit somebody underneath and hurt 'em And there was a bloke, I could never understand him He was a quiet lad, used to make his own dresses and everything "Too strong for light work" And he sat in the corner crying his eyes out. I said to him "How long have you got, Billy?" He said "Three days" I said "Three days? You Jammy bugger! How did you manage that?!" He said "They hang me Monday" Well, we don't sleep like tops and we don't sleep like logs 'Cos the bed bugs have feet like colliers' clogs And they bite and they pinch and they wrestle you as well Then they kick you out of bed in the Strangeways Hotel Chorus Last verse. Thank you very much… Well the warders they read bedtime stories at night They tuck us all in then they switch out the lights Then they give us all a big kiss to make sure we sleep well They've bloody strange ways in the Strangeways Hotel! Chorus
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