Well I'll make my contribution, humorous.

An elderly Jewish man is on his deathbed. Suddenly the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies permeates his senses, and he must have one.

With all the strength he can muster, he meanders his way out of bed, and in excrutiating pain crawls the 25 feet to the kitchen which takes him about 15 minutes, and manages to pull himself upright up hanging onto the fridge handle to do so. Sitting on top of the counter is a large serving dish with the cookies in question.

As he reaches for one, out of nowhere a hand slaps his. He turns and it's his wife. She says:

Don't touch! They're for the *shiva.



*=Jewish equivalent of a wake.