Mr. Spawzer always gave me the uplift I needed with his oddly perverse sense of humor. Many times I have laughed till I cried. I have gone through three computers due to Coke being Catspewed from my nose after reading his posts. But I am ever grateful to him for his poem I found years ago...well here's the original posting of it: Subject: A poem by Spaw??? From: GUEST,khandu - PM Date: 31 Jan 01 - 07:37 PM This is exciting! In an old curio shop in Memphis, I found an old magazine. It certainly wasn't the type of mag that I, khandu, would subscribe to; however, having never heard of it before, I purchased it. It was an oddly put-together mag, very limp. It was titled "LESSER MEN- the magazine for the not-so-well endowed". This issue was dated 11-79 and featured "Readers Responses". I came across this poem near the front of the mag. It was written by "Anon. from Ohio". It sounds like Spaw to me! Spaw, you are a wonderful poet! You should share your poetry with your fellow Catters! So without further ado, A Poem by Spaw: "ODE TO MY PHALLUS O Phallus, my phallus, why art thou so teeny? T'would be a Prize, if ye were even half the size Of an Oscar Meyer weinie. O phallus my phallus, why art thou so teeny They taught me much, they taught me well To mine own self be true To do my own thing Alas, my own thing is much too little to do O Phallus my phallus why art thou so wee T'would give me much pleasure if thou wouldst only measure At least two inches, or three O Phallus, my Phallus Why art thou so wee I saw her there, so beautiful and fair I was filled with desire To stoke her lust into a bright flame, Into a raging fire. Sweet words, wine ,and poetry Music so soft, Surely that would do the trick She giggled and tittered Then she guffawed "I've not even seen a candle with such a small wick!" Have I angered the ancients, those powerful gods Who created this kit'n'kaboodle That they should give others such wonderful rods And leave me with this pitiful noodle. O Phallus, my Phallus Why art thou so damned short! The End" I, khandu, of course, cannot relate to the problem expressed in the poem. Yet, I am moved by his sense of futility and inadequacy. You are good, Spaw. khandu My best to ya, old buddy; I love ya, man! ken
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