I learned it "Colder 'n a witch's tit in a brass bra." (Not from a parent!) and I've always liked the description of a scoundrel as "lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut."

When I was in the Air Force I was told that the whole nine yards referred to the amount of space that a military family was allowed to fill with household goods on a long move from base to base. It was certainly an expression that our sergeants used a LOT!