Well I remember thinking at the time - this is a bit like that Shhoting an Elephant essay by Orwell. As you say - we were both expected to act in this way, and there was actually very little room for manoeuvre. Once you had stood up and said that you would accept the job - that's what you had to do. orwell said it was the situation of the British in India. Apparently powerful - but with few choices about how to proceed.

my Dad was a cop. I asked him about the stuff he had to do. He had been at the liberation of the camps - he said - don't you worry, I know there are limits. they ask to go over them - I'll tell them to stuff their job.