"Gonna have to ban lip and ear stretching, too. And probably should also ban flattening babies heads. All of these have been (and sometimes are) practiced by various American Indian nations, African tribal groups, and so on. Neck stretching, too. And foot binding (although that isn't done much anymore)."

My guess is that if you tried flattening your babies head in the US today, or binding your daughter's feet, you would quickly discover that you probably don't need extra laws banning them. As for African practices, FGM is not legal in the UK.