1. My heart is a-pounding within my breast,
Ah know the first line, forgot all the rest,
A memory like mine is a hell of a pest,
Shit, I've forgotten the words.

Chorus
On a packet of fags I'd written them down,
Threw them away as I drove into town,
Now I feel a bit of a clown,
'cos shit, I've forgotten the words.

2. The last time I sang them they went down a treat,
Dogs were a-howling out on the street,
And I spilt my beer all over my feet,
'cos shit, I've forgotten the words.

3. Sometimes they come back line by line as I sing,
Tonight I can't seem to remember a thing,
Ian McCalman will know, I'll give him a ring,
Oh shit, I've forgotten his number.

4. So come all you singers, practice your verse,
If you do not, you surely will curse,
But I remembered the tune so it could have been worse,
Next time I'll remember the words.