WHEN IT'S NIGHT-TIME IN ITALY, IT'S WEDNESDAY OVER HERE
by James Kendis and Lew Brown
Copyright 1923 by Shapiro, Bernstein & Co., Inc, New York

A rah rah rah rah college boy
Threw all his books away.
He said, "I've lost my appetite.
My hair is turning gray.
I know my Greek and history,
And Latin is a pie,
But if East is East and West is West,
Then won't you tell me why:

"When it's night-time in Italy,
It's Wednesday over here.
When it's fish day in Germany,
You can't get shaved in Massachusetts?
How high is up? I'd like to know.
How low is down, and when will we have snow?
If you bump into Gallagher,
You'll find that Shean is near,
When it's night-time in Italy,
It's Wednesday over here."
This rah rah rah rah college boy
Stood up in class and said:
"I looked up my geography,
And found that Caesar's dead.
The reason I speak Portuguese
Is I'm some clever guy,
But if 'Parly Voo' means 'How are you?'
Then won't you tell me why:

"When it's night-time in Italy,
It's Wednesday over here.
Oh, the onions in Sicily
Make people cry in California.
You drive a horse, I drive a Ford,
That doesn't prove a sailor is aboard.
If you talk to an Eskimo,
His breath will freeze your ear.
When it's night-time in Italy,
It's Wednesday over here.