It looks like I was confusing some of the ghostly lover ballads back in 2000.

She did not know he was dead:
   Child 272 Suffolk Miracle - ghost comes, takes lover home, doesn't say he is dead, open grave to show her, handkerchief around neck
   Child 77 Sweet William's Ghost - ghost comes for plighted troth, tells her he is dead, no room for her in grave
   Child 248 Grey Cock - keeps appointment, tells her he is dead, spends night, leaves at (early) cockcrow

She/he knew he was dead, got him out of grave some way or other:
   Child 78 Unquiet grave - wept on his grave, he come up to say "stop it"
   Child 49 Rolling of the Stones/Two Brothers - in some versions she charms him from his grave. [I had trouble understanding how Two brothers and Rolling of the Stones were the same ballad until I heard Paul Davenport's version Rolling of the Stones ]
[Child 79 Wife of Usher's Well - mother asked for dead sons' return]
   
I may have left out some.
All of these ballads have versions in the Digital Tradition, search for "Child #[whatever]"