God you're like Scousers without the humour and intelligence. I know Manchester well- I was born in the former palace of the Bishop of Manchester (Bishop's Court, converted to flats after the War). And can exchange chapter and verse about Irlam's o'th' Height with that Gnomic person. Worked in Hulme when the flats were dangerous territory, knew Wythenshawe when it was aspirational and the docks when they had ships, was scared of the lads from Collyhurst. Preferred the blue Ashton trolleybuses to red Manchester ones. Played in the Exile when Des Donelly played at the Bull. Saw the fishermen's wives waiting for them to come home in the evenings on Trafford Road (my aunt's explanation). And couldn't give a toss about United or City.

Didn't I come from Lancashire?
It's great to come from Lancashire,
Where women all wear clogs and shawls
And men are really men-
It's great to come from Lancashire,
I'm proud to come from Lancashire,
And once you've come from Lancashire
You'll never go there again!