Michael, respect for those who have died fighting wars is one thing most people will go along with. But as long as public remembrance ceremonies exist there have been attempts to create respect for war itself on the backs of those fallen. This is what I, being a socialist, cannot tolerate, and I like to think it was Mary's way of reasoning too. And another thing: I've just finished a paper on 2nd World War memorials in my area, and it is amazing how often the words "our fallen" occur on these monuments - as though neither the enemy dead nor civilians mattered. (Even worse here in Germany, of course, when "our fallen" actually were the aggressors, albeit in many cases unwilling ones.) As long as such a way of thinking prevails, particularly among those in authority, opposing public remembrance ceremonies seems entirely reasonable and justified to me.