Sorry not original but second hand means it going to a good home

To Whom it may concern
From "Christmas day in the cookhouse" by Billy Bennet


Whatever you eat, may it always repeat
Be it soup, fish, entree, or horse doovers,
May blue bottles and flies descend from the skies
And use your bald head for manoeuvres.

May the patent expire on your evening dress shoes,
May your Marcel waves all come uncurled,
May your flannel shirt shrink up the back of your neck
And expose your deceit to the world.