A favourite Scottish drinking song. I have tried to preserve to Scottish flavour, and apologise for any errors in the translation.

DRINKIN' WILLIE'S RUM
(From "Blended Scotch" album by The Lomond Folk.
With thanks to Isabelle and Bill Hillhouse for help with the dialect!)

I staggered hame one morning frae a granny night afore,
I spied my next door neighbour standing at his kitchen door,
I wished him a good morning, and he grabbed me by the thumb,
"Come in and sit a muckle bit, we're drinking Willie's rum."

Chorus:        
We're drinking Willie's rum, aye, we're drinking Willie's rum
We'll all be full as a tinker's whore, wi' drinking Willie's rum.

I saw some real good faces sitting round about the fire,
The postie, and the minister, and the leader of the choir,
A wheen of chapman billies, wi' a puckle mair tae come,
Ye dinna need invitations when you're drinking Willie's rum.

They handed out the jelly jars, you'd think I'd won a prize,
The one I got turned out tae be the giant family size,
The first drink shook my hurdies, and the second struck me dumb,
Life's full of these surprises when you're drinking Willie's rum.

Then up spake Willie's granny, she was nearly ninety-four,
Dinna sit about and play wi' it, drink up, there's plenty more,
The district nurse'll tend ye, and the doctor said he'd come,
They're never short of custom when you're drinking Willie's rum.

The host refilled the jars up, such a hospitable man,
He drank his embrocation from a half a gallon can,
Oh don't pee in the fire or you might set off the lum,
We'll lose the byre and stables, 'cause we're drinking Willie's rum.

"Let's drink a toast tae Willie!" cried the minister aglow,
"He's done one year already, so he's just six months tae go,
He had such fun in making it, we'll maybe keep him some,
Sae please pick up your glasses, we're drinking Willie's rum".

Chorus:        
We're drinking Willie's rum, aye, we're drinking Willie's rum
As yet he does nae ken it, but we're drinking Willie's rum.

(GLOSSARY: chapman billy = farm labourer, a wheen = group, puckle = couple,
hurdies = loins, lum = chimney)

- Shimbo