Where did my post go? I wrote a long post today that has disappeared; I thought I had submitted it but this ipad constantly plays tricks on me.

Becky, I'm so sorry about your Dad. I have learned so much about bereavement and grief since I started this thread so long ago. All I can add to the wonderful words of wisdom of others here is that I find that if I can kick my brain into "job" mode, I can usually get through it. Not that a performance is mechanical or unfeeling, but that it is a state of mind that hunkers down and gets the job done. But at a memorial song celebration, I suspect that tears would have a place, even from the leader. My thoughts are with you and your mother, and all who love your Dad.