Or this one, which requires a bit more numeracy than the last:

Two mathematicians are in a restaurant, arguing. The first mathematician is complaining that the average citizen knows *nothing* about maths, people are idiots who don't even know how to check their change these days, and the world is generally going to hell in a handbasket.

The second mathematician is objecting, telling his friend that the situation isn't that bad, and warning him not to underestimate the average citizen's mathematical knowledge.

After much argument, the first mathematician staggers off to the toilet. The second mathematician calls the tired-looking young waitress over.

"How can I help you, sir?"

He hands her £20. "I'd like to play a little joke on my friend when he gets back. I'm going to ask you a question. When you answer, I want you to answer, 'x squared.' Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, sir, whatever."

After a few minutes, the first mathematician returns and sits down. The second mathematician says, "Look, I'll *show* you that the average citizen knows more about maths than you think they do." He waves the waitress over.

"Yes gentlemen, what can I do for you?"

"I just have a simple question for you, young lady. Can you tell me what the answer to the integral of 2x dx is?"

The waitress scrunches up her face: "er, I think so... it's… x squared."

The second mathematician leans back in his chair, looks at his friend, and smiles smugly.

Then the waitress, walking away, calls over her shoulder, "Plus a constant."




You either get that or you don't. Without some basic calculus, you just won't.