Lasting power of attorney (UK, or England at any rate) is a lot more complicated now than it was a few years ago when I had to do it (it was a 30 quid letter from a solicitor then), but get them at all costs (I question the 1750 - get a 2nd opinion!) because it means you can operate bank accounts etc etc.

Sounds like a weekend "sorting it all out" and getting a care plan in place is a really good start.

Then at least you and the other rellies will know where you all are. It probably won't get any easier (small comfort, I realise), but at least you'll have a handle on things. My thoughts go with you - there's always the Jane's Rainbow thread when you need extra help and good thoughts from a wonderful bunch of people.

Good luck

Paws