CORRECT LYRICS:

TWO LITTLE SAUSAGES: A TALE OF TRUE LOVE
(Lyrics & Music by Lionel Monckton, ©1907)

VERSE 1: Once in a window of a ham and beef shop
Two little sausages sat.
One was a lady and the other was a gentleman
Sausages are like that!
He fell a victim to her simple charm,
And her form he would have embraced;
But a sausage you see never has any arm,
And the lady hadn't got any waist.

CHORUS 1: What a pair of happy little sausages!
Theirs was a very pleasant fate.
So they huddled up together,
In the chilly winter weather,
Both on the same cold plate,
Well, it wasn't such a very cold plate!

VERSE 2: One sad day those sausages quarreled,
Ended was all their joy.
The reason was she said she caught him flirting
With a saucy little saveloy.
'Pooh! My dear' said the gentleman sausage
'If you think I'm a flirt, well I am,
But I've seen you sitting on the same bit of parsley,
As that wicked old knuckle of ham.'

CHORUS 2: What a pair of silly little sausages!
Theirs was a bitter, bitter pill,
For they very quickly parted,
And it left her broken-hearted,
While he joined a bad mixed grill,
Yes, it really was a very mixed grill!

VERSE 3: Long years after on a luncheon counter,
Those two sausages met.
She was engaged to the wing of a chicken,
But he hadn't got off yet!
Soon they were reconciled, and then, of course,
She consented to name the day,
So the barmaid dressed her in a tissue paper frill
And the waiter gave her away.

CHORUS 3: What a pair of jolly little sausages!
Nothing their happiness can dash.
And on any day you'll meet 'em,
For there's no one wants to eat 'em,
He calls her his own sweet mash,
So you see that they are sausage and mash!