CH. Her 'old man's ' the lavy man on the Elder Dempster LIne
    He wears a nice blue uniform with brass buttons o so fine
    He mops,and cleans, and polishes, his toilet bowls they shine
    Yes,her'old man's 'the lavatory man on the Elder Dempster Line.

When first she saw his uniform she thought he was the Chief,
The Captain, or Chief Steward, at the very least
But it was on their honeymoon the trouble it began
When she found her 'old man' he was the lavatory man

'Cause she'd all her friends he had an impotant role,
And of course that was correct, he's in charge of the toilet rolls!
But she knew that they would laugh if the truth they'd find
That her 'old ma's' the lavatory man on the Elder Dempster Line

One day as he was working he opened a toilet door
But looked on in horror when a lady there he saw
"I'm very sorry madame, didn't mean to cause distress"
"That's alright" a bass voice replied, 'twas a steward in a dress!

Now all the first class passengers after every trip
To the bar staff, and the stewards, they give generous tips.
But if they forget him, still he shakes their had
'Cause he knows where his hands have been,'cause he's the lavatory man!


Adapted & expanded from song collected from Captain Peter Woodworth of Fleetwood, who 'served his time' with Elder Dempster's
The tune, of course, is My Old Man's a dustman.