I recently confronted the situation Craigie Hill brought up in the original question, although in a different folk setting. Rather than in a singaround, it was in a Sacred Harp singing (traditional American four-part a capella singing).

I'd been singing with these folks for a few years, and it's a supportive group -- positive feedback when you do well, no negative feedback when you screw up. Like the others in the group, I worked hard at improving my singing -- listened to recordings of traditional singers -- went to workshops (they're called "singing schools" in this tradition) -- etc.

A little while ago, a young woman started coming to this singing. She had impeccable credentials -- had sung Sacred Harp for several years, had traveled and with traditional singers, had read many books on the tradition, etc. But her high notes were very flat, and she sang *very* loudly. Ouch.

One of the respected elder singers, a kindly older woman, approached this young woman and suggested in the nicest possible way that she might sing a little more softly because it might help her to match the pitch of the other singers better. Tears and a very emotional scene ensued. The elder singer gave up, the young woman went on singing loud and flat, the group as a whole decided that being completely supportive to all singers was more important than sounding good.

I put up with it, but I wasn't happy. Eventually a friend of mine who is a professional singer said to me: Sometimes you find that you've moved beyond a group that you've been singing with. (Note that my friend was not suggesting that my singing had gotten any better!) So I went out and found other people to sing with.

Now I'm definitely *not* saying that the answer to Craigie Hill's question is to leave the singaround. But I *am* saying that in *my* case the answer was to leave -- as much I like all those nice people I'd been singing with for so long, it was time for me to go find musicians who would push me to sing better. And I'm eternally grateful to my friend the professional singer for getting me to face up to that. And maybe this will resonate with someone else who reads this thread.

(((...and I'm going to post anonymously to protect all concerned...)))