With a relative working for Tree Amigos we bought this year's tree from him.
I took pity on him standing in the cold all day (but rather him than me!) and wrote this little ditty:

TREE AMIGOS
ttto: Tannenbaum / Christmas tree / Maryland / The Red Flag

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
I'm sure you'll be the death of me.
Twelve hours a day I'm on the go,
In sunshine (rarely) Rain and Snow.
A Tree Amigos 'Happy' elf
I do the bleedin' work myself.
Each massive tree I have to hump,
Shove through the netter, trim the stump.

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
There's one for ev'ry family.
Tra-dit-ion-al-ists may prefer
A tall (but thin) Norwegian Fir
But if you don't want needles loose,
I'd recommend the Nordman Spruce (spoken O.k. it's a little more expensive, but the quality is worth it!)
A five-foot Nordman in your Ka?
Okay, if you're not going far.

This Christmas job would be a breeze.
If it were not for all the trees.
At 4 a.m. I'm on the road,
Just to collect another load.
And I've just sold another tree.
Smile at the client, take the fee.
A Nine-foot in a mini van?
But, Can we fit it? – Yes we can! (Apologies to Bob the builder)




And now some quotes from our sponsors:

It is a fir fir better thing I do than I have ever done:
Charles Dickens, A tale of two cities

If at firs you don't succeed, try try again
Robert the Spruce