Following the visit from those killjoys at the NSPCC the landlord at the King Herod has removed roast kid from the menu, and replaced it with roasted cock. So when the festival committee met on Boxing Day after the traditional wren hunt to consider what acts to book for the 2014 Festival the landlord told them "I've heard you're booking this twerker Smiley Virus. Now if that's true then I bet that roasted cock there will get up and crow three times." Well, as it turned out, the chef had forgotten to switch the oven on so up stood Farmer Jones's best Rhode Island Red cockerel in the dish and it crowed full fences three. The next committee meeting will be on New Year's Day; it was supposed to be at the Child Owlet on Darling Muir, but the members are now torn between the Black Horse and the Bay Mare instead.
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