Once when my son was about 4 years old, I was out driving with him. I almost ran a red light. No harm done; I caught myself at the last second and slammed on the brakes, but I said, "Oh, shit!" in the process.

Now, I didn't want my son to imitate me, lest he do it in the wrong context, so I thought I'd better have a talk with him about language. So after pondering what I was going to say for a block or two, I said: "You know, I said a bad word back there."

"You did? What was it?" he asked.

"Didn't you hear it? Well, if you didn't, then it doesn't matter. Never mind."

"No! I want to know what you said!" he insisted.

I still resisted telling him, but he wouldn't let it go. He continued: "Did you say, 'stupid'?"

Let me explain: Sharon, his day-care provider, had a rule that the kids were not allowed to call each other stupid. I endorse that rule, but it had left him with the impression that 'stupid' was a dirty word. So be it. It could be worse.

"No, I didn't say 'stupid.' " I answered.

"Did you say, 'fucker'?" he asked.

I'm sure if I'd had a mouthful of coffee, I would have sprayed it on the windshield at that point. I said, "Will! I didn't know you knew that word!"

He said, "I know tons of 'em. I hear 'em in day care."

Will is 26 now. I told him that story just a couple of weeks ago. Naturally he had forgotten the incident entirely.