From the sheet music at Indiana University (with added footnotes):


WHEN PRISCILLA TRIES TO REACH HIGH C
Words by Jack Mahoney; music by Harry Von Tilzer; ©1916.

1. Priscilla Lee next door to me rehearsing for the stage
Takes singing lessons from Professor Beany.
She yells all day and neighbors say she should be in a cage
But she thinks she's as good as Tetrazzini¹.
She asked a neighbor if her execution was all right,
And he replied, "I favor it tonight."

CHORUS: In the morning when you're dreaming
She will wake you with her screaming.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, up and down the scale she goes.
Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, singing through her nose.
She thinks she's as good as Patti².
She's enough to drive you batty.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble.
Ceilings crack and tables wobble,
And the neighbors tell us
Backyard cats are jealous
When Priscilla tries to reach high C.

2. Her ah-ah-ah's and tra-la-la's scare all the birds away.
They think it is a seagull or a vulture.
But she'll declare her voice so rare is being cultured say!
The neighbors swear it sounds like agriculture.
Her teacher said, "I think your throat is full of music, but
'Twould be much better if you had it cut."

CHORUS: In the morning when you're dreaming
She will wake you with her screaming.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, she eats birdseed all the day.
Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, "choke!" the neighbors say.
When she warbles a cadenza,
You'd think she had influenza.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble.
Ev'rybody starts to wobble.
Once a copper heard her
And thought it was murder,
When Priscilla tries to reach high C.

1. Luisa Tetrazzini
2. Adelina Patti