TRAVELLING MAN
As sung by David Bromberg on "Bandit in a Bathing Suit" (1978), reissued as "Reckless Abandon/Bandit in a Bathing Suit"

1. Folks, I want tell you about a man named Bloom; he come from down in New Orleans,
And he made his livin' stealin' chickens, and everything that he could see.
Now you know this pop-eyed man he run so fast, that his feet wouldn't stay on the road,
And if a freight train passed, no matter how fast, he could always get on boa'd.

CHORUS: 'Cause he was a travelin' man; he cert'nly was a travelin' man,
The trav'lin'est man, Lord, that there ever was in the land.
He traveled, and he was known for miles around,
And he never got caught and he never got whupped until the police shot him down.

2. Now the police hired a motor car, just to chase after my buddy Bloom.
They chased him from five o'clock in the mornin', till eight in the late, late, late afternoon.
This pop-eyed man he run so fast, they say flames shot out of his heels.
Why, he burned up the cotton, he scorched the corn, he made a road through the farmer's field!

3. Now the police finally caught up with Bloom, had him out to hang one day.
Executioner leaned over, he said: "My good man, have you have any last words you desire to say?"
"As it so happens, your honor, I do have a brief speech prepared if you'd bow your head one moment in prayer."
And then he winked one eye, and crossed both legs, and vanished straight up in the air!

4. Now Bloom was on the Titanic when it put out to sea.
He was playin' B-flat clarinet in the orchestra that rendered 'Nearer My God to Thee'
So people saw him and they jumped overboard; they said: "Did ya get a load of that crazy fool?"
But, friends, just 45 minutes right after that, he was shootin' craps in Liverpool!

5. Now you know, the European police caught up with Bloom, shot him in the head.
People come round from miles on down just to observe the man as he lay dead.
Telegramed back to the states to his mama; folks, she come all carried away in tears
She reached down and opened the coffin lid, and that fool had disappeared!

[Spoken:] Now I want you to understand that this man was rapid! Swift! Abrupt! Sudden! Precipitous!
This guy was so fast— (How fast was he?)
They used to say that the man could turn off the light and get under the covers before the room got dark!

6. Now one day Bloom had to go to the well to fetch a pail of water.
The distance this rapscallion had to traverse was approximately three miles and a quarter.
Now he got to the well, filled up the bucket; on his way back, he stumbled, dropped the pail, and fell down.
He run back to the house, grabbed another bucket, and caught the water before it hit the ground!