Here's how I hear it, from a recording on Spotify:


DANCING WITH MEN
As sung by Victory Morris on "Heave the Lead" (2013)

1. We went to a do on a Saturday night.
With stockings and makeup I looked a delight.
I was backless and strapless with frock to the floor.
I pulled on me sling-backs and stood by the door.
Me husband was flat out upon the settee,
The telly full on and the dog on his knee.
He said: "I'm not coming; I don't think I'm well."
But we both knew the reason as this he did yell:

CHORUS: I only like dancing with men.
I only like dancing with men,
For women they tickle and nibble my ear.
I like to clash sticks and drink pints of strong beer.
So leave me at home if you can.
The Psalter(?) Is not in my plan.
I think you're delightful, but smooching is frightful.
I only like dancing with men.

2. We went to Paris for our anniversary.
I was hoping I'd get some romance.
He wined me; he dined me; he really enticed me.
I thought that we might even dance.
Then a lone violin struck a tune that he knew
As we stood on the Bridge of the Sighs.
His hanky he outed; "This time, boys," he shouted,
And jumped in the air with one hell of a cry: CHORUS

3. We went on safari; I thought I'd be safe.
He behaved to the end, and oh, what a relief!
But on the plane home, his ... he found.
I shook as I saw his feet tapping the ground.
And then he stood up, and holding his hankies,
To a male flight attendant he gave a broad smile.
He cried: "Dearest Dicky, hold my hand; this one's tricky."
And I heard their bells ring as they danced down the aisle. CHORUS

4. "Our pearl anniversary, thirteen years wed,
We'll go on a spree up to London," he said.
"We'll walk by the river, perhaps have a beer.
I'll make it a day to remember, my dear."
But on the train after, I heard bells a-ringing.
I heard filthy laughter; I heard chorus singing.
"Don't tell me that's them; that wouldn't be fair!"
But when we got to Waterloo, Victory were there. CHORUS

5. Our marriage is over; it is a distress.
We've gone to the high court to sort out the mess.
The judge listens long to the tale of our woe,
But he's drumming his bench and he's tapping his toe.
When we get to the end, he throws out my case,
And says: "Step aside, woman; let me take your place."
By me husband he stands in his gown and his wig.
They wink and proceed to do a double jig. CHORUS

TAG: I only like dancing,
And leaping and prancing,
And drinking and singing.
I love my bells ringing.
I only like dancing--
The true Morris dancing.
I only like dancing with men.