Kill, clean, and pluck a chicken. Be sure to singe off any feather stubs.

Kill some onions, carrots, celery, and potatoes. Rip them from the earth, cut off their heads (and tails), and wash them. Then flay them. Cut them into pieces and throw them in a crock pot.

Drop the carcass of the dead chicken in and drown everything with water and/or crushed, fermented grapes.

Throw in some innocent parley leaves and perhaps some rosemary you tore from the main stalks.

Plug in the crock pot and cover it. Set the heat to "low" so that the innocent beings you've thrown together will be boiled.

At some point you might want to toss in noodles, composed of never-born baby chickens, the dried and crushed gametes of wheat, and water or milk taken from the mouths of calves.

Some salt and pepper, the first raped from Mother Earth and the second the dried and crushed hopes of a pepper plant.

When everything is soft and mushy removed the bones and skin of the chicken you murdered and skim off the oil rendered from its fat.

Serve and enjoy.