Performed by
Gracie Fields

Christmas is coming, Christmas is coming
Christmas is coming again.
But that never thrills me, the thought of it chills me
I tell you it fills me with pain.
It makes me remember a Christmas gone by,
When I was extremely upset
A night in December, an evening that I,
Would very much rather forget

For I took me harp to a party
But nobody asked me to play,
The others were jolly and hearty
But I wasn't feeling so gay.
They might have said, "Play us a tune we can sing."
But somehow I don't think they noticed the thing.
I took me harp to a party
But nobody asked me to play
So... I took the darned thing away!

They asked Mrs. Morgan to play her mouth-organ
And somebody else did a dance
They Let Mrs. Carter perform a sonata
But I wasn't given a chance.
Anorth country person called Sandy McPherson
Played bagpipes and took off his coat.
While both the Miss Fawcetts bust out of their corsets
In trying to take a top note.

For I took me harp to a party
But nobody asked me to play,
The others were jolly and hearty
But I wasn't feeling so gay.
I felt so ashamed at not striking a note
That I tried to hide the thing under me coat
I took me harp to a party
But nobody asked me to play
So... I took the darned thing away!

They sang "Home Sweet Home" and "The Banks of Loch Lomond"
And "All the King's Horses" and "Trees"
While nephews and nieces kept playing their pieces
And spreading their jam on the keys.
A daughter called Lena, played her concertina
We all played ridiculous games,
'Til old Mr. Dwyer, set his whiskers on fire
And a fire engine played on the flames.

But I took me harp to a party
But nobody asked me to play
So... I took the darned thing away!