No, you're not a "homophobe" who doesn't believe in "gay marriage". You're a homophobe who doesn't believe in gay marriage.

I've often thought of the political spectrum as being a bit like one of those split-ring washers. Imagine the gap at the top. The best lefties are at top left, right next to the little split. You go all the way round anticlockwise, via softie left, via Brownites, via Blairites (we're already at about four o'clock), LibDems (three o'clock), Cameronites (two o'clock), the Monday Club (one o'clock), Farage (ten past midday) and the BNP (thirty seconds past midday or less). Then just think of who Farage and the BNP try to appeal to - the working-class lefties, especially the poor, the out-of-work, the disabled, the badly-housed, the exploited, the poor sods who work every hour God sends for £6.50 an hour less this less that who can't afford the rent on the lousiest bedsit in town without taxpayer intervention - cheers for that, Asda, Tesco, Marks 'n' Sparks and all the rest of the real benefit cheats - who are just the good side of that tiny gap at the top. Easy pickings for the far right. Low-hanging fruit, as they say. Just entice them to jump that little gap with hollow promises about curbing immigration (which they can't and won't and never do) and slashing benefits to shirkers (who hardly exist), benefit cheats (rare) and disabled people (probably their fault anyway, probably all just fat unfit boozy useless gits). Don't bloody blame Costa or Amazon or Vodafone, of course, who have armies of accountants to ensure they pay little or no tax. Or mega-rich foreigners who buy up millionaire mansions in London as "investments".

Where are you on that spectrum, ake? Why, you're with Farage! You've jumped the gap!