My transcription is full of holes, but I think this is the best I can do. Everything here should be regarded as uncertain.


ALL IN DOWN AND OUT
As sung by Rufus & Ben Quillian, a.k.a. Blue Harmony Boys, 1929.

SPOKEN: Now if Brother Jackson will step from the back of the church and give me authority to buy him a drink of liquor, I'll forgive him for puttin' that ten-cent piece in the collection box last Sunday mornin' that had a hole in it.

Thank you, Brother Jackson, thank you.

Now children, I'm going on till I tell you how Nicodemus found out how he had to be saved. It was way back yonder in them good old Bible times when Pharaoh used to run a little grocery store. One morning, when Pharaoh was behind the counter, when Nicodemus walked in.

Pharaoh says: "What do you want, Nicodemus? Do you want some of my three-day-old home brew?"

Nicodemus says: "No, Pharaoh; I don't want none of your three-day-old home brew."

So Pharaoh says: "What do you want then, Nicodemus?"

Nicodemus says: "Pharaoh, I want to know how to be saved."

Pharaoh says: "Nicodemus, you must be born again."

And Nicodemus jumped up into the air, clapped his heels nine times, he got down, grabbed a ham and three loaves o' bread and flew. And Pharaoh ain't seen Nicodemus since. Praise the Lord!

The congregation will now join in and sing "All In, Down and Out."

VERSE: I had an old friend that I thought was true,
But I found out that my friend won't do.
... money comin' down the street
Nothin' could 'a' been ... than my friend to meet.
I asked him to loan me one thin dime,
But at the same ... that he'd do all the time.
Ain't it a doggone ... shame,
... on the way to the game.

CHORUS: Sorry I ain't got it; if I had it, you could get it,
But I'm all in, down and out.
I would send you to a friend who'd be more than glad to lend you,
But he's all in, down and out.
Once I had a dollar, I was ready to spend,
But if I ever get my hands on a dollar again,
I'm gonna hold right to it 'cause it's my last friend
All in, down and out.

REPEAT CHORUS.

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You can hear this on YouTube.