I was thinking of learning "Geordie Nativity" for our local folk club Xmas do, as it is written down on a thread.

Bugger that, Keith has given enough material for me to write an original one, possibly portray him and his logic as the referee in the Xmas 1914 footie match.

I'll let you know how I get on. A couple of ideas



Fritz just scored, how the German crowd roared
But Keith blew and shouted "offside!"
He asked a defender of indeterminate gender
And decided the Germans all lied.

"But how can zat be? Just your goalie and me?
But your defenders were all goal side?"
Keith just said "Our lads are well led."
And decided the Germans all lied.

"But that's not fair play!" Said our corporal, "ok,
Our fairness is known far and wide!"
For Keith, that's a sin, he only wanted to win
And decided other ranks had all lied.

Writing itself...