Funnily enough, I do struggle to keep at my best weight, and with the skiing season coming up..

But I can burn off my bit because it is neck, shoulders, belly etc, (not that being 6'4" and 13 stone is fat of course but we are talking your logic here.)

Your fat being where your brain is, exercising it just seems to make you worse.

I love insults. But just for me, be even funnier and start defending poor leadership again. I like that. What's that one you do about good decision making again? I could hear the laughter coming all the way from the war memorial.

I'd take your stand up act to the war graves if I were you. Captive large audience and all that. You and Keith could give them your latest material too. You know, about hospitals and schools being legitimate targets so long as the militants are Israeli and the victims Palestinians.

That would make good pantomime.

"where's me moral authority to preach on Mudcat?"

"It's behind you!"

Naw, doesn't work. Not sure you ever had it in the first place, fool.