I feel somewhat left out.

My little boy (greyhound, rescued ex racer) doesn't bark. If burglars came in he would angrily sleep at them, possibly a few farts to warn them off and if all else failed, slowly get up, stretch (two farts there, he stretches both ways) and stand at the side of the cupboard where I keep the gravy bones, looking at the burglars hopefully.

If he could bark, he'd tell them which guitars are worth a bit and which aren't, possibly to serve me right for letting the vet stick a thermometer up his arse last week.