Geez, you go away because a dermatologist cuts up you face, and unexpectedly I might add, and some old mountain man is baiting Shame, Amos is staying up waaaay past his bedtime, and gnu is selling off his possessions (if ya got a nice shotgun let me know).

Yes, I went in for simple checkup. He squirted liquid nitrogen on a "sun spot" beneath my right eye and looked over my magnificent body (to the gasps and cries of amazement and pleasure from his female assistants). Then, he turned my head to the left and...told his assistant to "prepare him." She replied that she'd be MOST happy to do that and gave a little wiggle. He told her to send in the other nurse, named "Watch it" or something. So this new nurse jams a square needle with a blunt point with burrs into my right (facial) cheek and injects something. When she does it again I inadvertently register pain and she jabs the needle in further, twists it, and yanks it out.

Yes, I was leaking blood. Even the doctor said so and I could feel it running down my cheek. He put a napkin near the wound, so he wouldn't leave evidence of the assault on my shirt I guess, and whips out a knife and starts whittling and I passed out from the pain.

Two hard stinging slaps awakened me and the nurse said, "The doc wants to tell you something." So he told me that the stuff he cut out would biopsied and he have the results next week. Then they turned me off the table and onto the cold floor (I was still au naturel for the exam), and said to go home and wait for them to call.

I managed, somehow, to drive home and crawl into bed, the blood sometimes leaking from under the cotton ball duct taped to my cheek. I can't shave and I can barely sleep; such opiates as I have don't touch the pain. Then I find Amos up past his bedtime.

Pshaw.