The archetypal English ploughman's lunch of the 70s contained as its two major ingredients a large slab of factory cheddar and a hunk of dodgy bread with chewy crust. On the side was a blob of Branston Pickle, the nearest thing to actual poison that may be legally sold. For salad, there was raw cabbage hunks, thick wilted circles of tasteless cucumber, one slice of tomato that tasted just like the cucumber (that is, of nothing), a few week-old outer leaves of a shagged-out iceberg lettuce and a ring or two of thick-cut raw onion. If you were really unlucky, you'd get an abominable scoop of that most horrid of horrids, the grated raw carrot. The average ploughman must have suffered from permanent indigestion, not to speak of severe bad breath. Let's face it. Some veg was just meant to be cooked!