It would take several hours and many paragraphs to totally discuss the many issues and explanations for the differences between people and their approach and abilities.... here is a semi-short one.

There are several different types of 'singaround'.. there are public, **open** ones with few rules, designed to just encourage music. These, as noted, can be pretty good or pretty bad.

There are similar ones, but with topics named days or weeks in advance, meant to stimulate people to look up songs and reduce the decision making process...(this has been the general way the Open Sing of FSGW has operated for over 40 years.) A topic can either help one choose and learn a song... or scare the amateur who 'likes music' but has problems with finding source material...(not everyone has 40 years of collecting books and LPs...etc.)
   IF one attends these, there WILL be highs & lows, and there are fairly good singers who have a high pain threshold but who like sharing and helping newcomers. The FSGW sing sorts them out pretty efficiently, but has gone thru its own stages. When I first arrived, it was "the place to be" once a month... but when a few better musicians could no longer be there, others simply did as Don & Deckman explained, and opted out. A personal decision, but tending to water down even further the overall 'quality'. This is further complicated by where meeting are held.. in public hall with plenty of room (as FSGW did for many years) or private homes with varying degrees of comfort and accessibility.

Now-- the main issue... there are also just different types of people. There are those who are **musicians** who do music almost every day, whether professionally, or as dedicated, competent amateurs who absorb folk music and its history like a sponge. Then there are those who really like the music, but whose daily life may be guided by many other things and turn to singing/playing as a nice, but occasional thing.... or who only discovered the idea of a 'singaround' recently. Sometimes these develop into serious, talented folk, but we never find out if they are discouraged by being snubbed or ridiculed in early attempts.

Then there are seriously different... for want of a better term... 'brain types' who process and memorize words quite differently and efficiently. (I MUST usually see a song in print as I learn it.... my brain often cannot follow a song I don't already know. I DO make very attempt to learn it if I intend to sing it in public, but if it is not something I expect to add to my permanent repertoire, or if months or even years pass between it being needed, I may resort to a small crib sheet.
   This bring up something referred to above by others.... I will NOT attempt to do a song is I cannot be fairly sure I can handle it WITH a crib sheet... and I have posted before that IF I can close my eyes and not tell whether someone is using a sheet, I am fine.

..and of course, along with varying abilities in memorizing, there are personality & psychological approaches to performing in public. I knew one guy who, when in the audience, could supply missing words for others, but when singing the same song himself, would stumble. I think it has something to do with 'seeing' the audience and being distracted by their reactions. (Thus the suggestion about closing ones eyes when singing...or at least looking at the floor...)

   None of all this matters to YOU if you simply cannot take the mediocre along with the good to excellent. Private, invitation events are one answer.... but if you ARE competent, it helps if you occasionally 'serve as a good example' and explicate TO the newbies and wannabes some of these basic issues. If you DO attend singarounds, I think that some effort should be made [in the name of the group and probably anonymously] to clarify how awkward fumbling and mumbling can affect the enjoyment for others.