True, McGrath. The first one is a closed question----the 2nd is an open one that invites discussion.   I like your suggestion of asking, (maybe still using 'passive-aggressive' behaviour as the guideline), what does this song tell us about the people involved?

That Tom Paxton song I posted, for instance.   Others feel a lot more empathy for the father than I do, while my empathy is totally directed toward the son. I have always had a very judgmental attitude toward the narrator of the song...probably related to my own experiences and my own 'abandonment' issues. There's no question that our judgments say more about us than they do about the people they are judging.