Potssl: but I am sure that if I asked you what you think the bible actually says

I know pretty well what it says, both versions, and you can't reconcile them unless you're a better sophist than the apologists of the last half millennium. It's demonstrable nonsense, and thinking Christians have realised long ago - about two hundred years ago- that it's a story, like the parable of the sower. No one (not even you) thinks that the story of the sower was about a factual event, it was just a story illustrating a point. Which of course leads to the question that, if some bits of the Bible are metaphorical, how do we distinguish (and more importantly WHO gets to distinguish) between the straight "facts" and the edification?

But as Les Barker said (quoting whom I know not), never argue with an idiot, for he is doing the same. And I've just burnt the dinner writing this nonsense.