I can't bear dogs. I don't understand the mindset of dog-owners who think you ought to be just as jolly with their bloody pooch as they are. On two separate occasions at two different houses I've sat at the dinner table with the hosts' large dog lying between my feet. In one case, if I so much as twitched, the bloody animal let out a low, menacing growl. I told them I'd have to leave unless the dog was removed. They were rather upset and couldn't understand why it was bothering me, for Christ's sake. "It was only being friendly." We got over it. And let's face it, dogs are basically unhygienic shitting machines that shouldn't be anywhere near human food. Tomorrow we are picking up an old lady to take her out to lunch, to a place about twenty miles from her house. She wanted to bring her two huge great Labradors with her, in our car! Well we've put her to some inconvenience and she's now got a dog-sitter. Huh.