SANTA'S TOO DRUNK TO DRIVE
As recorded by The Hot Rods on "Christmas" (2003)*
And by Johnnie Clutch and the Rumble Seats on "Rock Her Santa EP" (2013)*

Santa's too drunk to drive.
Santa's too drunk to drive.
Santa's too drunk to drive.
He's been drinkin' since a half past five.
Whatever you do, don't let him drive that sleigh tonight.

It's a cold and snowy Christmas eve.
Santa's at the bar drinkin' shots o' Jim Beam.
Call up Rudolph; bail him out o' jail.
All the Christmas presents are comin' in the mail.

Oh, Santa! Santa's too drunk to drive.
Woah, Santa! You better stay home tonight.

Call up Dancer, Prancer and Vixen.
Santa's blotto, bombed and Blitzen(?).

Oh, Santa! Santa's too drunk to drive.
Oh, Santa! You better stay home tonight.

Well, all the boys and girls are waiting for their toys
'Cause Santa's passed out from drinkin' one too many Rob Roys.

No more beer, whiskey or gin.
Santa's fallen off the wagon again.

Oh, Santa! Santa's too drunk to drive.
Woah, Santa! You better stay home tonight.

Santa's too drunk to drive.
Santa's too drunk to drive.
Santa's too drunk to drive.
He's been drinkin' since a half past five.
Whatever you do, don't let him drive that sleigh tonight.

Santa's too drunk to drive.
Santa's too drunk to drive.
Santa's too drunk to drive.
Been drinkin' since a half past five.
Whatever you do, don't let him drive that sleigh tonight.


* These 2 recordings actually sound identical.