nice to see that Jeneve Rose Mitchell has made it to mudcat...we will hear more from this gal!!

I fine myself at my wit's end.....life has taken a turn since this fall when my partner got pneumonia (the new-not-the-old-monia) in November. He was mis-diagnosed twice by the clinic he had been going to, and after crawling into the emergency room, was declared "at death's door" and admitted to the hospital. He was released to home after a short stay, but ever since then he has been struggling with lung problems and complications including congestive heart failure, edema, cellulitis, and massive infections. the holidays were basically non-existant including thanksgiving, christmas, new years, and we have been in and out of hospitals, clinics, doctors, tests, pharmacies...on and on for months and months.

We hear more and more news accounts from some musicians in their 60's who have passed away recently from "complications from pneumonia" and are aware of the severity of the situation. He will be 66 next week.

I have been trying to hold down the fort...doing my jobs as well as his including feeding dogs, cats, birds and horses, mucking stalls, hauling hay, keeping the wood stove going, as well as keeping food on the table. To top it off, on our way home from one of our last trips to doctors in town (about an hour away) he was driving and feel asleep at the wheel. I was able to startle him awake and get the wheels turned back onto the road, but we came dangerously close to going over the edge near a steep drop off and it was very frightening. Now i insist on being the designated driver for all appointments, etc.

Poor guy, it is the only time he gets out any more and having been a professional driver ("big truck")for over a million miles, driving was one thing he felt confident about. Anyway, I am feeling quite overwhelmed and am having a hard time budgeting time to allow for all the tasks that need to be accomplished....laundry, bandageing, chauffering and zoo keeper duties have me in a whirl.

glad to have this group to find a sympathetic ear and shoulder to cry on. now i understand and appreciate what my mom went thru as a caregiver for 15 years with my invalid father (paralized from a stroke and not able to speak or walk much)....at one point she lost all her hair from stress!

I am trying to remain strong and brave but starting to crumble around the edges! thanks for all good wishes....