Mind you, Steve didn't acquit himself too well on Andrew Marr the other day, did he? It's one thing to have bastards in your cabinet, it's another to get a powder puff on your face, eyeliner for the close ups and tell BBC ruddy one all about us.. err... Them.

It's alright having him as a leader to shake up politics but the nation will never fall for his Cornish Lancastrianism. They want a stable middle of the road PM, not some silly sod with principles. (OK, the Anfield delusion isn't terribly principled unless you are of scouse paternal genitals, which The Guardian says he isn't.)

The problem is Dave, the electorate will never fall for Heinz tinned tomatoes whilstever Sainsburys own brand are cheaper, taste the same and come in stackable tetrapak. It's all '70s dogma revisited and people have moved on, become more sophisticated like, and some have learned their vocabulary from imported z list US soap opera. I mean, just because Gillian Whassername was born here doesn't mean X Files needs to be on at prime time. Stan Laurel was too, but you shouldn't see my point.

Instead of planning the Shawist years, we need to be planning the long term Musketite period of history yet to be written.