A Joke for Each State

Massachusetts
Lewis Black on Boston traffic: "The last person to get across that town in under three hours was yelling, 'The British are coming! The British are coming!'"

Michigan
What do you call 40 guys watching the Super Bowl on television? The Detroit Lions.

Minnesota
What are the four seasons in Minnesota? Almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.

Mississippi
How do you know when you're staying in a Mississippi hotel? When you call the front desk and say, "I've gotta leak in my sink," and the person at the front desk says, "Go ahead."

Missouri
A man from Kansas City walks into a bar and asks, "Wanna hear a joke about people from St. Louis?"

The bartender says, "Listen, pal, I'm from St. Louis, and I won't appreciate it. The man sitting next to you is 265 pounds, and he's from St. Louis too. And the bouncer, that huge guy there, is also from St. Louis. So do you still want to tell that joke?"

"No," says the guy from Kansas City. "Not if I have to explain it three times."

Montana
Four women are driving across the country together, each one from a different state: Idaho, Nebraska, Montana, and California. Shortly after the trip begins, the woman from Idaho pulls potatoes from her bag and throws them out the window. "What are you doing?" asks the Nebraskan.

"We have so many of these things in Idaho, I'm sick of looking at them."

A moment later, the gal from Nebraska pulls ears of corn from her bag and tosses them from the window. "What are you doing?" asks the gal from Montana.

"We have so many of these things in Nebraska, I'm sick of looking at them."

Inspired, the Montanan opens the car door and kicks the Californian out.

Nebraska
Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada
Las Vegas: All the amenities of modern society in a habitat unfit to grow a tomato. --Jason Love

New Hampshire
The state motto is "Live Free or Die", which appears on license plates made by prisoners. --Jon Stewart on The Daily Show

New Jersey
Why does New Jersey have all the toxic waste dumps and New York have all the lawyers?

New Jersey got first choice.