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Janie BS: The Mother of all BS threads (59136* d) RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads 23 May 16


Whew! Gotta....catch.....m'breath......Got here as quick as I could - gasp - pant - pant - gasp - gulp - Know I been gone a long time and y'all prob'ly thought I'd turned my back on the family completely - well, for that matter, so did I - wanted to see the big city and get some real culture in my life, you know? Changed my name and how I did my hair, started brushin' my teeth and stopped droppin' my g's - gasp-cough - water for me and the mule please.

Anyways, I saw this crowd a'startin' to gather down near the Capitol grounds. Strolled down just to see what was happenin' - after changing into my prettiest low cut dress of course - never know where there might be a business opportunity, and Mom did a good job of teachin' never pass up a chance to make a buck - no pun intended - I don't suppose you could add just a wee drab of bourbon to that water, Rap? Not the mule's bucket of water, you idiot!

Where was I? Oh, yeh. Anyways - when I first heard Moab mentioned I thought maybe it was a revival sans the tent - thinkin' that and dressed as I was, you can understand I was a little hesitant to push on into the crowd - but there weren't no need. The voices started to get louder, and suddenly I realized they weren't talkin' 'bout no prophets wandering around Palestine, nor profits either, for that matter. Weren't talkin' about trouble in the Middle East, nor about arrangements for a tour bus to Moab, Utah.

No sir! They was talkin' about MOAB! And some was speculatin' that MOAB is responsible for the slow down in the economy. Now, others was sayin' no -no - and I didn't see no fist fights breakin' out nor can I say that I know a lynch mob is headed this way - but suddenly, I thought of Home. And dear Mom, and all my brothers and sisters out here in the hinterland - maybe in danger of lynchin', and maybe not - I just knew I had to ride out here as hard and fast as I could, sorta like Paul Revere and the Raiders, you know? To warn you that, geez, somethin' awful might happen! Well, probably not.

But anyways, did I say that already? Was a good excuse ride back here as hard and fast as a could to make a dramatic comeback.

How'd I do?


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