This is my transcription from the recording on Spotify.


GUERNSEY KITCHEN PORTER
As sung by Rab Noakes on "I'm Walkin' Here," 2015.

1. Lord above, protect me from my family.
Do not let them get in touch with me,
For I am bound to be a kitchen porter.
Sure is a convenient thing to be.

2. I don't mind the sweatin' and the screamin'.
Gi' me a room seven foot by three,
For I have urgent bus'ness on the mainland.
Sure is a convenient place to be.

3. In the evenin' when my shift is over,
Struggle around a eucalyptus tree.
It may not be the stairway up to heaven,
But it sure is a convenient thing to be.

4. Do not give me "Fare Thee Well, Saint Peter Port."
Do not give me "Sarnia Cherie,"
For I have urgent bus'ness on the mainland.
This sure is a convenient place to be.

5. Long may I smell the eucalyptus.
Keep those graspin' hands across the sea,
For I don't wish to face the inconvenience
When that urgent bus'ness catches up with me.

Sure is a convenient place to be.